Harvard Yard Picks

Alabama victory + large quantities of alcohol = Hilarity and vulgarity.  Cover your children’s ears.

SEC West Game of the Week

Ole Miss (4-4) vs. Auburn (4-4)

With Alabama and LSU taking on patsies in the run up to the annual bloodletting in that increasingly vitriolic rivalry, the bowl elimination game between Ole Miss and Auburn becomes the biggest game in the West. This is a game Ole Miss can lose and still get to a bowl game, but Auburn needs this victory in the worst way. The Tigers are unlikely to stay within 21 points of their final two opponents, Georgia and Alabama, leaving Tennessee Martin as their only victory. That spells out a losing season for Auburn, unless they can defeat the Fighting Nut-Nuts of Ole Miss.

How likely is it that Auburn’s vaunted offense will go into Oxford and accomplish much of anything? Lotteries have better odds. Jabba the Nutt has a team with an offensive, a big plus when facing Auburn. Ole Miss has things like a quarterback and a running back. They even have an offensive line, and offensive specialists sometimes referred to as “wide receivers.” Granted, these are advanced football concepts, and it is remarkable that Houston Nutt has managed to produce them in a single season while Tommy Tubberville flails in the dark.

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Here at the Yard, we have jobs.  So occasionally, the blog suffers.  This is one of those times.  So I’ll be brief.  LSU wins. Why?  They have an offensive and defensive line.  It is not clear that Georgia does.  Blocking and tackling wins a lot more games than flashy quarterbacks and cocky, full of themselves, running-backs.  Speaking of which, did Not-Really-A-Name Moreno learn NO humility from the Alabama massacre?

Subject:  The Alabama Tennessee game.

Look, Alabama is going to win this game.  Anyone who says otherwise is an idiot.  Tennessee’s defensive line is its strength, but it will not dominate Alabama’s offensive line.  Eric Barry can’t cover all of the wide recievers, and Tennessee’s offense can’t score.  What I want to talk about is Terrence Cody and the absolute, uninformed drival that has been spewed about his absence.  Now I love Terrence Cody.  He is a great story and a great player.  And I was sad when he got hurt.  But no one is going to have to step up and replace him.  The fact is, he only plays around 50% of the snaps for Alabama.  Josh Chapman plays the rest of the time.  Half the time you see Cody make a play, it is really Chapman.  And if I hear one more ESPN buffoon talk about Lorenzo Washington having to step in at nose tackle I may cut my heart out with a plastic spoon.  Take Alabama, and take um big.

Cause pictures of the Nut-Nut never get old.

Arkansas vs. Ole Miss; Auburn vs. West Virginia

Arkansas (3-4, 1-3) vs. Ole Miss (3-4, 1-3)

Great googly moogly! It is Armageddon time as the Great Satan, Houston “the Nut-Nut” Nutt leads his Rebel army into Arkansas. No doubt his reception will not be kind as Arkansas fans, still smarting over last year’s DISASTEROUS 8-5 season (I mean hey, they ONLY beat future national champion LSU by two points…in Baton Rouge) are no doubt excited over an opportunity to finally boo the Nut-Nut as the coach of a team not named the Razorbacks. This rivalry is an under appreciated one in the SEC. Arkansas and Ole Miss have played a total of 55 times, including two classic Sugar Bowl match-ups in 1963 and 1970. The two teams have played every year since 1981 with Arkansas taking 6 out of the last 7. But we are about to witness a power shift in this rivalry. These are two teams that are headed in opposite directions. It remains to be seen whether Bobby Patrino will succeed at Arkansas, whereas Jabba the Nutt has already upset Florida and nearly dethroned Alabama. The Rebels are not afraid of the road, and the Nut-Nut is ready for his homecoming.

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I’m a Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech, and a hell of an Engineer
A Helluva, Helluva, Helluva, Helluva, Helluva Engineer
Like all the jolly good fellows, I drink my whiskey clear.
I’m a Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech and a hell of an Engineer

Oh, if I had a daughter, sir, I’d dress her in white and gold,

And put her on the campus To cheer the brave and bold.
But if I had a son, sir, I’ll tell you what he’d do–
He’d yell: ‘TO HELL WITH GEORGIA!’ Like his daddy used to do.

Oh, I wish I had a barrel of rum, and Sugar three thousand pounds

A college bell to put it in, And a clapper to stir it round.
I’d drink to all the good fellows, who come from far and near.
I’m a Ramblin’, Gamblin’, HELL OF AN ENGINEER!

Sometimes in life you see something so amazing, so incredible, so out of the ordinary, that it shakes you to your very core . . . makes you question everything you ever thought you knew.  Maybe it was the ghost of your dead grandmother.  Maybe it was an alien from the planet Zenon.  Maybe it was the sausage that danced across your plate and then begged you to eat it.  But nothing, nothing can prepare you for what you are about to see.  THIS will blow your mind.

You know you saw it.  In some deep recess of your brain you are denying it.  The baby-you in your super ego is curled into the fetal position crying in the corner of your mind.  Cause you can’t have seen what you just saw.  What you just saw with your own two eyes.  Watch it again.  Deny it.  I dare you.  I know, I know.  It can’t be true.  But it is.  You just watched an SEC referee tackle South Carolina’s quarterback.  And now you ask yourself–Why? Why did he do it?

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